I, ME, MY EARRINGS

‘I knew it was you. I saw the huge hoops. Couldn’t have been anyone else.’

Ted Rodgers, one of the most prestigious professors and authors to attend the most prestigious ELT conference in the Eastern hemisphere.

Three years since we had met, the one and only time! He recognized me!! By my earrings!!!

Not by my insightful comments or my dulcet tones but by my dressing profile. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it but it had to be good, right?

And it was, believe you me. He took me to dinner and charted out my academic career for the next 25 years, walking me through my Ph.D. application process, creating a list of most suitable universities, giving me invaluable advice about what to avoid. I owe a lot to my accessorial taste!! 

I don’t like any jewellery touching my skin. So no necklaces or bangles or even anklets. This left me with earrings, long, dangling, daring, for a touch of being dressed up and not be plain and unadorned. 

I can’t remember the first time I wore danglers, certainly since the mid-1980s. They weren’t very common when I was young except for jimikis. The only other dangles I had worn was cut out of an oddiyanam, a family heirloom.

When people comment on my earrings, my hand goes up to the ear lobe to finger it for a reminder of my choice for the day. This is not an affectation. Once I am dressed and out the door, I forget what I am wearing.

I buy my signature earrings, my only indulgence apart from books, as my fancy takes me, with no particular outfit in mind. But they are apparently appealing to everyone, well, most people most of the time. A friend recently said, ‘I would never buy the earrings you do but when you wear them, they look so nice and I wonder why I was not able to see the potential.’ My nieces regularly raid my collection which provides me a legitimate excuse to replenish my hoard.

I gather earrings from various sources. Never expensive ones so that I don’t mind if I lose them or they break.  

Presents from family

Mementoes of my travels 

Gifts from friends            

The past few years I’ve added another consideration of not just length but also weight.

My ears are getting too thin to carry heavy danglers. So lighter materials such as  

Fabric

Wood

Feathers

 Over a considerable period of time, my sisters have tried strenuously but unsuccessfully to dissuade me from flaunting them.

 About fifteen years ago, during the hallowed December music season in Chennai, my younger sister approached me at the Music Academy, all solemn and grim. ‘Can we go to the canteen? I have something serious to discuss with you.’

I was intrigued since neither the Academy nor the canteen there were her usual haunts. Nor could I think of what had happened that could be such a cause for concern. 

Before we could place our order, the manager approached us and turned to me respectfully. ‘Madam, may I say something? I have been watching you for the past week. You wear new, new earrings and they are unique and beautiful.’

My sister’s face changed dramatically from serious to aghast to outraged. ‘Did you put him up to this?’

As I laughed helplessly, she abated her wrath and told the poor, unsuspecting man, ‘You have thoroughly undermined my scheme. I was going to pitch a plea to ditch these monstrosities. And now you have made things a million times worse!’  

Quite unexpectedly, a few months ago in Toronto I found myself separated from my jewellery box for two weeks. I wondered … What if I have bare naked ears? How would it impact my identity? How would others see me? How would I see myself?

So I ran a field experiment. Independent variable: presence/absence of earrings. Dependent variable: people’s reactions and comments and my own self-perception.

Across two countries, Canada and Ireland, for a total of four weeks I went practically earring-less except for the occasional event and even then chose the smallest ones I had.

Initially, I felt a little self-conscious but the family didn’t comment on it at all, almost as though they didn’t notice the dispossession. Or they may have played it safe and decided not to remind me of my base instincts!

Honestly, I enjoy wearing earrings. Also honestly, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die-honestly, I am not totally hung up on them (pun intended). 

I don’t see my identity tied up with my earrings. True, they have been the most recognizable part of my ensemble but I think I proved to myself that I can now take it or leave it.

It now follows as the night the day that I don't need 300 pairs of earrings anymore. When I went out to work every day, I did use my vast collection, airing each pair regularly. But my wardrobe has shrunk considerably and my work, play and special occasion dresses are not as distinctly different. Which means I need fewer accessories.

Where does this leave my vast hoard of danglers? Skinning it down, maybe.

I was delighted when my great-niece picked out about 10 for herself. The foundation of a collection perhaps?

My nieces, cousins and various friends of friends have all had their pick over the past few years. 

I thought I was doing well with the winnowing of my wardrobe.

And then … my friend in Chicago presented me with three lovely ones that I received with gleeful pleasure. 

And the hoard grows ...